I’m signed up now for two business college classes. It’s been really nice to get back into the swing of things when it comes to school. One thing that I’d almost forgotten is how I tend to drift off in class without even realizing it. One minute the teacher will be talking about income statements and equity, and my mind runs off to, “Gee, it would be really cool if I could write some statements for Cody’s company. It would be really good practice for me, and I think it would help him visualize what he’s actually getting done…” It just rolls on from there and before I know it, I come back to reality and realize I just missed about a paragraph of whatever the teacher was talking about. I have real attention and memory issues, but ADD medication doesn’t do anything good for me. (Something I learned the hard way my sophomore year of University) I tend to be one of those people that doesn’t pick up on things quickly unless it’s something art related. It probably doesn’t help that I’m entirely not interested in most things besides sleeping.
The weird thing is I love being asleep, and going back to sleep when I’m already half asleep; but I hate trying to transition myself into the sleep state from full consciousness. Being a control freak, it’s hard for me to just “let go” and let myself fall asleep. Also, my anxiety takes me to dark places like, “what if I never wake up?”
One thing I always notice when I have a reason to leave the house, and not bring Cody with me, is that when I’m gone, Cody always is especially productive. He’s generally a productive person when I’m around, but I know I present a definite distraction. For that reason, I feel like me going back to school is also good for him. I’m really looking forward to the day when Cody and I are taking classes at the same time.
More than ever, Cody has been actively looking for a regular job on top of the graphic design/video/photography/music work that he does. It makes me feel really good that Cody wants to take on more responsibility and take care of me while I’m in school, so that I can just concentrate on school alone. Our plan is after I finish college and get a job with my degree, that he will then go to school too.
We’ve also joked around about him being the “stay at home dad”. Honestly, I think I’d be down for that, as long as he learns how to cook!
It feels really special that I found someone willing to put themselves out there for me that way. It really shows that Cody is thinking long term with our relationship and…that’s kinda awesome.
I want to makes lot of babies nao pls.